Delusions

My mother has court on Tuesday, October 4th. She also gets paid around that time {She receives Social Security Disability} and cannot access her money because my Dad has her debit card.
So, she's coming back.
And yesterday this text conversation occurred: {exact texts are in Italics}

Mom: So I will be there Sun evening and was gonna share Mackenzie's bed is that a problem?

Ha, you ask...but you already know.

Me: That is not possible. Dad is still here, obviously and he has told everyone he has come into contact with that he fully intends to strangle you the next time he sees you. Also, Howard does NOT want to see you. Also, I am still beyond hurt and angry about what you took off and left me to deal with, with no regard to what you ere leaving in your wake and I am not the only one that feels that way.

Mom: I made some really bad choices. My mother is dying and my Dad's heart is breaking and I cannot undo what I have done. I will stay in a motel but can I see the kids and can you take me to court?

Me: Yes, you most certainly did. And I know what your parents are going through is a terrible ordeal. But as noble as your purpose is for being there it doesn't erase what you did to Dad, me, Howard and the kids. They don't cancel each other out. And yes, you can see the kids, and yes, I will take you to court.

Mom: Thank u

Mom: There was nothing noble about wrecking mine and y'all's life and I will be sorry and pay for it forever. I make bad decisions anyway but this hurt, this helpless grief I am going through right no is pretty overwhelming and I just want to cuddle both my parents in my arms and make it better, but I can't.

Me: No, there wasn't. And I'm surprised you're sorry because you sure haven't said it. I can appreciate what you're going through Mom. I can't say I understand it because I've never gone through that but I can imagine. I am thankful that you are there for them and for you but like I said, it;s hard to deal with the level of betrayal that you committed against us. You have no idea what it feels like to always back someone up, always try to help them through anything hard in life no matter what to have them all but physically spit in your face. It hurts, and I'm angry, but that's temporary, I'll get over it. What IS important is what your parents are going through but I cannot ignore what I have been through either. I cannot allow you into my home, a home full of people with a lot of negative emotion towards you and act like nothing happened.

Mom: I did say sorry, that day on your bed {She's referring to the day before she took off when I blew up at her for doing this to everyone telling her she needed to man up and take care of her own responsibility which also meant that if she is leaving, she needs to take my father with her and she agreed...at the time} and I am sorry taking care of your Dad is such an ordeal {it is, but I have NOT EVEN ONCE said a thing to her about any of the things I am going through with him} So, I wish I had done everything different. From the bottom of my heart I am so sorry.

Me: That day, on my bed, you also said you were taking Dad with you.

Mom: That was just not possible.

Me: Considering that alleged apology happened that day as well, you can imagine why it holds ZERO significance.

And I haven't heard from her since. She did call my father yesterday evening, about an hour after this text conversation ended. She told him that apparently we care about her anymore and don't want her here or want to see her so she is going to get a motel.
She's my mother, of course I care and I do love her. But I don't like her at all. I don't owe her anything, she owes me...everything. Howard keeps asking me if this situation was finally my breaking point with her, and yeah...it really is. I don't regret anything I have said and done in this situation. I have kept my integrity and stood my ground.

It makes me feel so good.

♥ Kristin