tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-57728287308182133842024-03-14T04:09:15.241-05:00West...Party of 5kristinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11632927824312334093noreply@blogger.comBlogger46125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5772828730818213384.post-48196706882934408502013-01-25T21:11:00.002-06:002013-01-25T21:27:31.446-06:00That can happen?!The past few days Howard has had a tooth ache that he has had time to time but he's noticed a little swelling and his pain level was an 8. Not cool.<br />
Wednesday while we waited for his Mom he was tempted to go to the ER part of the hospital because of the amount of pain he was in. When he woke up Thursday morning he was in a lot of pain and his face felt funny. By 10am his face was going numb at times, he had horrible ear pain and some popping in his ear and his vision was going in and out on his right eye. He went to the dentist for the first time in 14 years and found out that all 4 wisdom teeth are completely grown out and completely messed up. His upper right side wisdom tooth was so swollen, and so messed up it was messing with the nerves in his face (seriously, that can happen?!). The oral surgeon needs to take all four of them out, but wants to start with the right top that is so infected and impacting his face and his lower left one that is broken into pieces. The dentist put Howard on a strong antibiotic and pain medicine. <br />
So today, being wary of the nerve issues the oral surgeon took out the two teeth. Watching them numb him up for surgery made me feel horrible. He flinched so many times. Watching the oral surgeon try to get that top tooth out was one of the most gruesome things I have ever watched, hands down. I didn't realize it but apparently I got really pale and had my hands over my mouth, the dental assistant came over to me and touched me on the shoulder and asked me if I was okay. I was fine, honestly I was just so unbelievably worried about the pain that Howard was in/could be in/if he could feel it...it freaked me out but I could not stop looking (Car accident syndrome).<br />
So, I turned my head and rubbed Howard's feet and ankles and prayed until I heard the surgeon say he couldn't get the tooth out. He said he was going to try one more thing (using a left tooth tool on a right tool for torque, I suppose) and if he couldn't get it out then he was going to have to cut it out and suture him back up. 30 seconds later I heard a pop and he had gotten the tooth, thank God. The other broken tooth on the bottom that wasn't infected took 5 minutes (maybe) to get out.<br />
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He was in pain during the entire surgery an afterward. As soon as possible I got him to take some pain medicine and he went out like a light switch. Now he has eaten lots of jello, pudding, sherbert, tea and mashed potatoes and says that his mouth doesn't hurt at all (this is only with Motrin). He says his ears are hurting him, but that's it.<br />
Praying for a swift recovery now for him so he can have the other two taken out next month, then his perfect smile will be pain free, finally! kristinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11632927824312334093noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5772828730818213384.post-85686056843979809082013-01-24T15:57:00.002-06:002013-01-24T15:59:15.161-06:00Waiting GameOn Wednesday, January 23, 2013 we kept our kiddos out of school and headed to College Station so we could be there while my Mother in Law had her surgery done.<br />
Within the first 10 minutes of the road trip, my husband got pulled over for speeding. He was going less than 5 miles over the speed limit and luckily only got a warning. The rest of the road trip went wonderful. The kids played and looked around (they were all still sleepy).<br />
We got to the hospital about the same time as Howard's parents did and were able to talk to Linda, go through the whole pre-op stuff with her and make sure she understood everything and didn't have any questions. We met with her surgeon, Dr. Ryan Walter and he was very optimistic and open, wanted to make sure we all understood what was going on, he was great. We prayed with her and over her with all of our family holding hands with her pastor leading us in prayer. She was smiling, looked awesome (her hair is always perfect) and was ready to get everything over with!<br />
We said goodbye to her one by one and told her to have a nice nap and left her bedside at 11:40am on the dot. And then we began to wait. Howard Jr and Sr went outside for a bit after she was taken in. To see such strong men so worried about their wife and mother was heartbreaking. By 1pm the kids were starving so we headed a block away and got them lunch, some for my father in law and stopped to get Linda some flowers and a balloon. Shortly after we got back to the hospital Howard's brother Todd got there, he had to work all morning. It was approaching hour 3 when we got a phone call from the OR I ran to the information booth and took the call. She was doing great, surgery was a little more complicated than they had expected but she is doing great and they should be done in about an hour. Vague, but positive. <br />
At 3:15 her surgeon came walking through the door. Told us that she did great through surgery. They were able to get everything they wanted to out (full hysterectomy) but during the surgery her bladder got in the way and got nicked. They called in the hospital urologist and he came in and assisted with the rest of the surgery, sewing her up and making sure that there was no leaks in her bladder and they fixed her back up. Her doctor was very angry at himself. In his whole career this has happened 5 times, this made the 6th. He kept apologizing and said that God decided to challenge him that day. He said that they were just weaning her off anesthesia when he left her bedside and it would still be a while before we saw her. He said he was going to go home and have the evening with his family and then come back up and see her. Howard breathed a half sigh of relief an said "I'm half better, now I need to see her."<br />
At 5pm we had checked many times and been told they were still dealing with pain management in recovery which we understood but just killed the 3 men in the room to hear that she was in pain. The surgical information desk closed so we were left wondering now, with no information or no one to ask. We kept checking with the ER to see if she had a room yet. Finally, at 6:20 she did.<br />
We practically ran to her room to see her. We were there until almost 8. She was groggy, drifting on and off to sleep an very disoriented, pretty much what you would expect from a person who just had major surgery. The first question from me was, "Now tell me the truth, is my hair flat?" God, I love that woman. I answered her honestly (yes it was) and she groaned with annoyance. Her hands were freezing, but she felt warm. Her eyes opened the most when we told her what time of day it was. She was cramping quite a bit and it took me a while to explain to her what the big glowing green morphine button would do and that she needed to use it. She was concerned of getting to much pain medicine and not pressing it enough, like I said, took me a while but she gave in. I told her everything that happened in surgery, and she understood as best a person who just came off anesthesia can. She was not happy that she had a drain in her side still (that should come out in a day or 2) and that she had to wear a catheter for a week...actually she was pissed about that, in all honesty.<br />
She was munching on ice chips, being snarky to her sons and husband, telling her grand kids to settle down and holding my hand, we were a happy bunch. She kept telling us to hurry up and move back, how much she loved us, and kept a hold of our hands the whole time. After praying over her we left her to get some rest and to drive back to Austin and cried half way back home. Some in relief, some in guilt for not being able to stay with her but mostly because we were so thankful for God's amazing grace, love and protection. <br />
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Today she has walked, eaten, talked, been clear headed, watched TV and spent time with extended family that drove in to see her.<br />
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It's going to be a long road of recovery for her, but the point is she will recover. Please keep her in your thoughts and prayers. kristinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11632927824312334093noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5772828730818213384.post-81573802912114177872013-01-21T13:02:00.000-06:002013-01-21T13:02:52.529-06:00Negative!After days of extensive testing at multiple doctors and hospitals around the Houston area Howard's grandmother, Ann has come back cancer free!<br />
Every test they have done, they have not seen cancer anywhere. At this point they are speculating that it was a false positive and they are doing some further testing to be sure, but with everything they have done (and from what I was told was a lot) she is cancer free.<br />
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God is so good. kristinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11632927824312334093noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5772828730818213384.post-53062907585727112772013-01-18T11:59:00.004-06:002013-01-18T11:59:54.029-06:00Eff you Cancer! Right before Christmas my Mother in Law was diagnosed with uterine cancer.<br />
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Just hearing that word was totally devastating to her. Her Grandmother and Mother both died because of cancer. Through a few weeks and many doctors appointments and testing she found out that the cancer is affecting her uterus and ovaries and her doctor planned on performing a full hysterectomy to get the cancerous cells out of her body. <br />
She has never had any surgery, and the risks of surgery and having cancer is just overwhelming to her. She is such a strong, amazing, God fearing woman and to see her so uncertain is shaking my husband and I to our core.<br />
She was supposed to have surgery today, but Thursday she failed an EKG. She has since had another one and more testing an passed it. She is having a stress test as I type this to make sure her heart and body can withstand surgery.<br />
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-U818KfSw4HM/UPmNHrDAQ-I/AAAAAAAAAaU/JCUkiCkHqwE/s1600/HowardAnn_November12blog.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-U818KfSw4HM/UPmNHrDAQ-I/AAAAAAAAAaU/JCUkiCkHqwE/s1600/HowardAnn_November12blog.jpg" /></a>Last Saturday we also found out that Howard's only living grandparent, Ann also has cancer. She has had cancer before (thyroid) and they removed the organ and cancer successfully with surgery. Now, her health is very poor. She has issues with mobility, talking, every day activities plus she has a heart condition. Surgery is not a likely source of treatment but I don't think Chemo or Radiation will be either. She has spent the past week in Houston getting a ton of testing done to see what the cancer is affecting exactly and what her options are. Ann is the only Grandparent that Howard has ever known. He grew up across the street from her and he is just devastated as is my father in law.<br />
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His wife and his mother...I cannot imagine. </div>
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Linda (MIL) is tentavely planned to have surgery on Tuesday, January 22.<br />
Hopefully we will get some answers about Ann (Grandmother) soon.<br />
Please keep these amazing women in your thoughts and prayers, for they are loved and needed by so many. kristinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11632927824312334093noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5772828730818213384.post-12040153426506853012013-01-17T13:24:00.001-06:002013-01-17T13:24:40.311-06:00So many things...So many things have happened since my last blog post.<br />
I quit writing because my life, although blessed in many ways was overdosed in negativity and I honestly didn't want my blog to become a "Debbie Downer" blog like it has in the past. <br />
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What has happened since my last blog post...<br />
I gained back 11 pounds of my weight loss. This is what happens when you quit exercising. I kept going with my healthier habits, portion control, and did the <a href="http://west-partyof5.blogspot.com/2012/08/review-3-day-military-diet.html" target="_blank">3 day military diet</a> once more since my last post...but I still gained some of it back because of not exercising. I did every now and then, and having 3 kids and being a busy Mom still kept me on my feet but not routinely, at the gym like someone that is as overweight as I am needs to be. <br />
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Update on the kiddos...<br />
Parker turned 3 at the end of September. He is still not potty trained (we're working on it constantly). He hated his sisters going to school and leaving him at the beginning of the school year but is now doing great with it now that it has become part of our routine. We are still having major separation anxiety issues whenever we leave him at church or gym child watch areas. He cries constantly and within the 'cry limit rule' we are always called. We have been consistent in going, keeping a schedule hoping that he would get used to it but it did not happen. I am very concerned, to say the least. I have seriously been thinking of doing a mother's day out program to see if that may help at all. I love my boy beyond words but his reactions to being away from me in different situations needs to improve. He has gotten better with others watching him, we've had a few instances where I left him with our neighbor or a family member and it went much better than expected. I'm hopeful!<br />
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Maddie has had a lot of milestones...she started Kindergarten and loves her class, classmates, Teacher and School more than ever before. Right before the school year she got glasses as well. That was not a surprise to me, because she was a preemie I was told at birth that she may have sight issues, plus she has that stacked up against her with Howard and my eyesight. What killed me is she <i>really</i> needed them. I felt terrible when I realized how bad her eyes were and how thick her lenses were. Poor punkin. She picked out her own frames, and they are precious and she loves them. She also has turned 6 at the beginning of this month. She's still such a drama queen but such a big girl, too. She also has 2 loose teeth (her bottom 2). One of which is so loose it freaks me out. I am not a fan of teeth or dentistry...ick. She is signed up to play spring t-ball at the YMCA as opposed to cheer leading and tumbling which she wanted to do (she says she will do that in the summer). <br />
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Mackenzie is in Middle School and all that it implies. A ton of clubs, girl drama, liking boys and hours of homework. She is doing very well academically. She has done a semester of dance, that she loved and is planning on joining the dance team in the Spring. She is now doing basketball and is anxiously anticipating the tournaments that will be coming in March. She is playing Point Guard (just like her Mom!). She is in Choir and has had 2 concerts, an Elementary Holiday Tour and sang a solo and did wonderful. She is a member of Drama Club and STAND. She has had lots of friends issues, as do most middle school girls. She is a very mature girl and she has a hard time understanding the drama and why girls are acting a certain way. Being a Mom of a Middle School age girl in this society sucks guys, not going to lie. We constantly encourage her to stay true to herself, talk to us, talk to anyone and make new friends. She is also playing Volleyball at the YMCA this spring an taking voice lessons. <br />
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Other big news...My Dad is no longer living with us. Right before Christmas he moved into an Assisted Living Facility and he's been there for a month (tomorrow). He is doing very well and seems to be happy to be around adults, be put in more social situations where he can make some relationships with people his own age. The circumstances that surrounded him moving out were not pretty, but they all happened for a reason and I am thankful for the outcome.<br />
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Thank you to all of my new readers, most of which have showed up because of the 3 day diet posts. Stay tuned for so much more with the dieting front, because guess who's going back to the gym next week? kristinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11632927824312334093noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5772828730818213384.post-30661230521025148142012-08-28T13:19:00.000-05:002012-08-28T13:19:20.320-05:00JCP Free Kids haircutsAt the end of July I heard that JCPenny's was going to be offering free kids haircuts for kids PreK age to 6th Grade for the month of August.<br />
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Free...sweet.<br />
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So, August 1st I called and set up appointments with my local JCP for a week before school started for Maddie and Parker, I specifically told them to schedule them back to back and not at the same time so I could give my attention to each of them. Mackenzie had already gotten a haircut by my friend Kathryn, plus she has an adult head of hair.<br />
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When we got to the salon, at 10:30am they weren't busy at all. We waited for less than 3 minutes before we were called back.<br />
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-r_5v6UyiStg/UD0KQcGtWzI/AAAAAAAAAVc/T57uOnX5kqU/s1600/jcp_parkerbefore.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-r_5v6UyiStg/UD0KQcGtWzI/AAAAAAAAAVc/T57uOnX5kqU/s200/jcp_parkerbefore.jpg" width="150" /></a>Parker was first. For the first time ever, Parker was not excited by getting his hair cut. JCP salon as nice as it was...was definitely NOT a kid friendly environment. It took me 5 minutes to get Parker in the chair without him saying he wanted to get down. The stylist saw how put off he was and asked if we usually go to 'those kid places' Nope, never, not since they butchered Mackenzie's hair, we've always gone to a boring old barber shop...wherever Howard or my Dad was getting their hair cut at the time. Anyway, when I was convincing him to get in the chair, he got a little fussy because he just didn't want to. During that time every time Parker would refuse the stylist would get this frightened look on her face and physically take a step away from us, which both annoyed me and amused me. Please, don't get me wrong my son was not crying or raising his voice at all, he was just refusing. <br />
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I got him in the chair and the stylist took a deep breath before walking up to Parker, like she was afraid of him. The haircut went smoothly, Parker moved his head, and stayed still accordingly. He giggled every time she touched him with an electric shaver and in turn made the stylist laugh loudly...every time. By the end of the haircut, Parker looked like less of a shaggy puppy and the stylist had warmed up to him enough to offer him a lollipop.<br />
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-UnHihgL1FpA/UD0KPUhhMJI/AAAAAAAAAVM/S4TUSVqTfJc/s1600/jcp_maddiebefore.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-UnHihgL1FpA/UD0KPUhhMJI/AAAAAAAAAVM/S4TUSVqTfJc/s200/jcp_maddiebefore.jpg" width="150" /></a>About half way into his haircut Maddie was called to a different stylist, across the salon. I asked if she could wait until after Parker was done and the response was a sarcastic smile and a sweet voice saying, "now or never". Oooookay then. So, I left Kenzie standing next to Parker and went and told the stylist for Maddie that we wanted a trim because she is growing her hair out, long layers and a bang trim.<br />
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Luckily, Parker's hair cut was done moments later, so I could focus on Maddie. Her haircut went great, it looks beautiful and is easier to manage.<br />
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So besides the stylist attitudes I have one other <strike>complaint</strike> concern. Their bangs. Parker's are jagged, a one inch piece in the front is longer than the one inch piece to the right, and the piece to the left is in between them. There is no symmetry. Maddie's are perfect in front, but as they frame her face, they go wonky. I will rectify this after their bath tonight because I've been ignoring it for a week and it's driving me crazy. <br />
I can't complain too much, it was free and all things considered...my kids really needed their ears lowered.<br />
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Did you take your kids to get free JCP haircuts? How did it go?kristinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11632927824312334093noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5772828730818213384.post-7537734407111463822012-08-02T15:31:00.000-05:002012-08-02T15:31:20.164-05:00Review: 3 day Military DietI came across the 3 day military diet on the incredible Pinterest which is originally <a href="http://blessedmommy.hubpages.com/hub/Lose-Up-To-10-Pounds-In-3-Days-On-The-3-Day-Diet" target="_blank">HERE</a>. The diet said that if you follow it exactly you can lose up to 10 pounds after your 3rd day is complete.<br />
I looked at the diet and all the comments and thought, "Wow, if this works, this would be awesome!" It's very easy to follow and very inexpensive to do as well, which is a major factor for me. 3 days out of my life for around 10 pounds, heck yeah I'll try it! So, I did. The rules state you must follow the diet EXACTLY, drink lots of water, you can use lemon/lime, salt and pepper for seasonings and you're supposed to do 3 days on the diet and then 4 days of regular, healthy eating. <br />
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<b>Day 1- Monday- 7/30/12</b><br />
I weighed in this morning after I woke up and used the bathroom, I will not share that number but I was glad that it had gone down since my previous weigh in. <br />
<b>Breakfast:</b> 1/2 a Grapefruit, 1 slice of toast, 2 tbsp of Peanut Butter and one cup of coffee or tea<br />
With this, I did exactly as it called for. I did have crunchy peanut butter because I love it and one small drinking glass of iced tea with lemon.<br />
<b>Lunch: </b>1/2 cup of tuna, 1 slice of toast and one cup of coffee or tea<br />
I realized that a 1/2 cup of tuna is one regular can. I seasoned it with lemon juice and salt and pepper. <br />
<b>Dinner: </b>3 ounces of any meat, 1 cup of green beans, 1/2 a banana, 1 small apple and 1 cup of Vanilla Ice Cream <br />
For this meal I had 3 ounces of grilled chicken breast that I seasoned with salt and pepper. I had 1 whole cup of cut, steamed green beans (and man, that was a LOT of green beans!) The only other thing I did here was wait about an hour after eating dinner to have my ice cream, which was delicious!<br />
Besides the 2 glasses of iced tea I had, I also drank a half a gallon of water throughout the day, sometimes with lemon in it. <br />
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<b>Day 2- Tuesday- 7/31/12</b><br />
<b>Breakfast:</b> 1 egg (boiled, fried, scrambled), 1 slice of toast and 1/2 a banana<br />
I scrambled my egg seasoned it with salt and pepper.<br />
<b>Lunch:</b> 1 hard boiled egg, 1 cup of cottage cheese OR 1 slice of cheddar cheese and 5 saltine crackers.<br />
I forgot how much I LOVED hard boiled eggs. That was delicious, as was the slice of cheddar cheese. I am not a fan of cottage cheese, so I chose the slice of cheddar. Want to know how to make the PERFECT hard boiled egg? Click <a href="http://www.realsimple.com/food-recipes/cooking-tips-techniques/cooking/hard-boil-egg-00000000002333/index.html" target="_blank">HERE</a>. Lunch was truly delicious, I could eat this on a regular basis.<br />
<b>Dinner:</b> 2 hotdogs (no bun!), 1 cup broccoli, 1/2 cup of carrots, 1/2 a banana, 1/2 cup Vanilla Ice Cream<br />
Hotdogs are gross, y'all. I am planning on doing turkey or even soy ones next time because...bleh. I steamed my broccoli and ate my carrots raw. I also waited an hour after dinner to eat my ice cream.<br />
Today, as I'm sure you noticed there is no drinks allowed besides water. I was outside in the heat of the day today and drank about a gallon of water and sometimes had lemon in it.<br />
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<b>Day 3- Wednesday- 8/1/12</b><br />
<b>Breakfast:</b> 1 slice of cheddar cheese, 5 saltine crackers, 1 small apple<br />
I messed up this morning. I ate a slice of toast (that I'm supposed to have for lunch) instead of the saltines by mistake. Oops.<br />
<b>Lunch:</b> 1 hard boiled egg, 1 slice of toast<br />
Instead of the toast that I accident consumed this morning with breakfast, I ate the 5 saltines in its place. I found myself to be hungry within about an hour and a half after eating this. Today was a LONG day. <br />
<b>Dinner:</b> 1 cup of tuna, 1/2 a banana, 1 cup of Vanilla ice cream<br />
I was starving by the time dinner came around. The one cup of tuna, I ate out of the tuna packages instead of the can seasoned with lemon and salt and pepper. I couldn't finish it. It was too much. I was not a fan of tuna by the end of dinner. Once again, I waited an hour before eating my ice cream.<br />
I also drank about a gallon of water today, sometimes with lemon. Today was by far the hardest, especially after like 2pm. However, I could not help but notice how UN-bloated I was! There was a significant difference in my abdomen, face, hands, feet, legs. I was very curious how the weigh in was going to go in the morning.<br />
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<b>Day 4- Thursday- 8/2/12</b><br />
Today I woke up hungry but definitely could not deny the flattening of my stomach and the lack of any bloat in my body that I could see. That my friends, felt GREAT! I told myself if I lost more than 5 pounds in the past 3 days that I would keep at the program. I weighed in...I lost 7 pounds. <span style="font-size: large;"><b>7 POUNDS IN 3 DAYS!</b> </span>YAY! No, it's not 10 pounds, but darn it I couldn't be upset with 7 pounds in such a small amount of time. <br />
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I have lost <span style="font-size: large;"><b>53 Pounds</b></span> since March 14th. I am pretty proud of that. Since I have been at a plateau for a few months I am going to keep at the Military Diet.<br />
Try it, and please let me know how you did!!!!kristinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11632927824312334093noreply@blogger.com26tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5772828730818213384.post-28966458311062795582012-05-25T10:53:00.003-05:002012-05-25T10:54:38.717-05:00Sock Curls-No heat!So not too long ago we tried the whole 'Sock Bun Curl' thing on Maddie. It worked okay...if I wanted her hair to be in a pony tail with pretty loose curls, but for her hair down? Didn't work. There wasn't enough curl around her face because the hair was pulled up during the process. <br />
So, I found another method via the incredible <a href="http://www.pinterest.com/" target="_blank">Pinterest</a> and discovered the most amazing blog EVER! <a href="http://www.cutegirlshairstyles.com/" target="_blank">Cute Girls Hairstyles</a>. Seriously, I will be visiting her hair a LOT in my future. So, using <a href="http://www.cutegirlshairstyles.com/tips-and-tricks/sock-curls-no-heat-curl-hairstyles/" target="_blank">THIS</a> tutorial for Sock curls I did it on both my girls. I did a few things different than the video though. My girls had just taken baths, but their hair was a bit damp, so I didn't need to wet their hair. I also had to use 5 socks for Mackenzie's hair because that child has the thickest hair ever. <br />
Okay, onto the pictures!! Let's do Mackenzie's first...<br />
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After I divided her hair up into 5 sections: One on the top of the head, one in the back and one in the bottom then both sides. </div>
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How it looked from the front: The flash was blinding </div>
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And when she woke up in the morning, everything had shifted a bit...but nothing fell out and she said she didn't feel a thing! (And she is a crazy sleeper) </div>
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After we took out the socks, turned her hair over and loosened up the hair at the scalp only...not through the entire hair strand, your curls will loosen up too much that way. </div>
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How we styled it for the day:</div>
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And then a cute, sleepy smile to finish it out. </div>
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And now, onto Maddie. Once again, flash was killer, but here's the front view...</div>
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And here's the back. I had to use 4 socks on her hair. It's thick, but fine as well. </div>
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And this is what it looked like when she woke up in the morning: </div>
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This is her head actually turned over during the loosening up process, check out those curls!! </div>
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And when she flipped her hair back up: </div>
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And this is how we styled it for the day: </div>
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It looked beautiful, and as you can tell she was very pleased! </div>
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Curls galore!</div>
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And there you have it! Watch the video, check out the pics and try it! If you try it, let me know, I'd love to see how yours came out! My girls loved this and I got asked by numerous people on how we did this. So easy, Moms...you have to try this!<br />
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Kristinkristinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11632927824312334093noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5772828730818213384.post-48927160191021696572012-05-22T09:03:00.000-05:002012-05-22T09:04:25.835-05:00And then there was usHoward and I are doing well. We weather through the storms as needed and are joyous when the water has a rare calm moment. Mackenzie says we orbit each other and how that might be true, the constant flow of life sometimes keeps our eyes on other things instead of each other, that's true for any couple but that certainly doesn't mean that our relationship isn't good. It is good, and healthy, I believe.<br />
Howard is doing well at work, as he always does. He got a raise and a great evaluation on his birthday (April 18th). Work can be a timing challenge if he has too much/too spread out of a route but that is basically the extent of it. Howard is one of those people who thrives on challenge and enjoys it immensely. He loves pressure, work wise...keeps him on his toes and makes him focus. He has never gotten that from this job, but in this economy he has a decent paying job where he is home every night (as opposed to a long haul truck driver where he is home every three weeks) and he's very good at it. Well, what's the problem? Howard graduated College one year ago and he has yet to use his degree for anything other than a wall decoration. He got a degree in business not because he just wanted a degree but because he generally loves business. He wants to be at the root of the business and help it run smoothly. He has been with this company for two and a half years and in those years he successfully graduated College and has applied for other positions within the company to try to move up and use his skills, ideas and knowledge but has yet to have any movement other than driving seniority. Over the years, he has had many talks with the President of the company, whom he trusts and truly likes as a person and a boss. Most of those talks had to do with productivity in some way and ways that Howard thinks that things can run more smoothly. The man has spent countless hours even typing these things out and giving it to the upper management. Some changes of his were implemented, but no one had the initiative that Howard had to follow them through and of course, Howard got no credit. Having so much passion and knowledge in this field it is very hard for him to sit back and watch his bosses have to deal with problems that he feels he could easily fix. He has so much drive but no where to put it and it is frustrating him. Badly. He is trapped in a bubble and can't get out and he fears the only way to get out is to leave the company, but he doesn't want to, he loves this company. Never the less, he has applied for other jobs, but doesn't want one like he has now. Trying to find a management position has not been easy (obviously, or he'd already be in one). He still has hope that his current company will realize his potential...that's not accurate...they do realize it...they have just yet to utilize it. He yearns for that and I know he prays for them to snap to attention before he finds another company who will. <br />
Oh, me. Geez. Well, at the end of February I started a journal. I needed an outlet for my feelings and issues and also a place where I could visualize and brainstorm. My thought process is so erratic at times, being pulled in so many directions I needed a place to focus on it, so out came the journal. I have written every day. Writing not just my feelings and issues but marking things done or not done and keeping track of my health and general well being on top of keeping track of my weight loss. Millions of people make New Year Resolutions to lose weight, be healthy, ect. I refused this year, having done it every year. I just said I wanted to turn myself around this year, go back to being me...finding me. One of those is shedding a lot of unhealthy weight that has been on my body for years. I can never recall a time where I wasn't overweight...ever. As of January I am at my highest weight ever, having daily anxiety attacks, crying all the time, constantly feeling just terrible. My thyroid was crazy, my blood sugar and blood pressure were erratic. And then it hit me. I was about to turn 28 years old and I have no idea who I am anymore but I know that my children need me...my husband needs me...I want to grow old with my husband...I have got to do something. So, I quit my vices...coke a cola and fast food. I have a deep, disgusting love for both. Then, I cut my portion sizes and started making better choices in what I was eating. Generally I cut down to about 1000-1,500 calories per day as opposed to about 4000 a day. I started to get more energy, my blood sugar and blood pressure regulated themselves. My depression and anxiety that literally ruled my every waking moment one day just...didn't. I would like to say that I started all of this on January 1st...and I did in part but really I dedicated myself to it on March 14th...during spring break where I was just fed up with myself. Since I started I have lost 44 pounds. I am very proud of every one of those pounds. The past three weeks I haven't lost anything...I haven't gained either. I am at a plateau and know I need to leap off of it by changing things up. I need to be more diligent on my calorie in take and I need <strike>more</strike> to exercise, and I need help. Exercise at home is not an option because frankly I can find other things I need to be doing like housework, or making a kid lunch, or doing laundry...something...excuses. Walking has been what I have been doing but with the increasing heat and my intolerance to the heat and to the sun it is literally like hell on Earth for me. So, by considering what all they have to offer as a family we decided to join the local YMCA. However, with our finances we can't afford the membership cost so we had to apply for their financial aid program in hope we could get a discounted membership rate. We applied for it on Friday, May 11th and still haven't heard a word from them, Howard is going to call them tomorrow if we haven't heard from them by then. At the end of April I found out about a program through the county that helps low income adults go to college and choose from a wide variety of high demand careers and the county organization will pay for it. For college...I might be able to go to college, and they would pay for it! I am ecstatic! On June 5th is an orientation to find out about the program and set up a testing date (they need to make sure you can academically handle college) to see if I can get into the program. I am petrified and excited. School is hard, especially with my lifestyle but I want this and need this so bad.<br />
I am so hopeful, about so many things going on right now and that is a far cry of how 2012 started for me.<br />
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Kristinkristinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11632927824312334093noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5772828730818213384.post-16992348813750611612012-05-19T13:18:00.001-05:002012-06-02T12:11:11.509-05:00My sunshine(s)<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">I am not in a place where I <strike>want</strike> can</span></span><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> post about all the positive things going on in my life, and I do know and realize that there are a lot of those. The negative is just overwhelming me at the moment, which is generally all my fault. The overwhelming part, not the negative, that's not </span><i style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">all</i><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"> my fault, lol. So, lets just go with the truth...kids edition.</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">The kids are good. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Parker is having Daddy issues. As of late, as much as a Mommy's Boy he is, he is all about the Daddy. Copying him, following him, crying when he leaves him. It's adorable and ridiculous at the same time. He is actually having issues when any of our family leaves and he is left without them, doesn't matter who it is. He is so unbelievably tall and is becoming more and more of a little man every day. He got his first big boy hair cut last week. I can have long conversations with this toddler and he understands every word as opposed to zoning out within the first few words like he did a few months ago or like his tween age sister does to me now. He is very interested in potty training, and school ends in 2 weeks...so we're starting then. I'm excited, and I know he is too! We are working on creating a better sleeping arrangement for him because the one he has is not working for him or for me, but it is really slow going. Lots of deterrents, but meh...</span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Maddie really loves school but has been facing some issues with exclusion from friends that I did not expect at this age, it kinda blows my mind (and breaks my heart) how this can happen with Pre-K age students. She is a very tenderhearted child with such personality. She has had a lot of injuries lately. Issues with her pierced ears have cleaned up but she took a large fall at the beginning of March that she still has the scar and pink tissue from in mid May. She also keeps popping up with these weird bruises and one large bite that she got while swimming (we think) about 2 weeks ago on her cheek that is still not healed, it's very puzzling. She has been sewing her oats and pushing her boundaries lately, but it's nothing that isn't normal for her age. She has got her letter sounds down and can write like no ones business. I heard her sound out an entire book the other day (granted, it was a 4 page board book, but darn it, she did it)! She is very excited for Kindergarten next year and hopefully joining a dance class (she wants ballet and tap) and T-Ball in the fall. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Mackenzie is doing phenomenal in school. Since state testing for her began in 3rd grade she has been having issues passing said testing, she always chokes and feels rushed. Well, this year with the much debated against STAAR test she feels that she did very well. Plus, on the End of the Year 5th Grade assessments, she passed, with very good marks. Plus she brought her grades up this last term so high, some over 10 points earning her a spot on the honor roll. She is going to finish out Elementary School on a very high note and I could not be prouder of her. She has had a lot of friendship issues. Lots of little girls becoming tweens and getting more cliquey and friendships ending, growing, changing...she is not sure how to handle it. The general consensus has been for her to have utter and complete meltdowns of misery because she doesn't understand how these girls that have been her friends for years can all the sudden not want to be her friend anymore. Mackenzie loves so much and with her whole heart and these changes she is just having a hard time wrapping her head and heart around. We have spent much of the past 3 months watching our daughter mourn for the friendships that she no longer has and doesn't understand why. It's effing heartbreaking to watch. Most of the time I just hold her and cry with her. She is having a lot of self image issues. Being so different from the majority is hard for her. Mackenzie turned 11 on March 21st and she is 5'6'' and overweight. Both of these bother her so much and I can totally understand her feelings because I experienced the exact same issues. She is trying to get healthy, making good choices, but it's a slow going process. She is both elated and filled with anxiety about middle school. Excited for the things that it will bring but petrified that she won't fit in and meeting all the new people. She rolls her eyes most of the time when I speak and everything's a battle. I have to explain myself to death with her and she always has something to say about everything I say. It's exhausting, lol. </span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;"><br /></span></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">My kids are amazing and bring me constant <strike>frustration</strike> joy. I am very lucky to have them, and every moment with them and I realize that. Maybe not when I am at my worst, but I am working on it. Overall my children are happy and healthy and I cannot imagine a life or a future without them in it. I love them so deeply and pray every night that I would appreciate the small stuff more, even if it is negative...at least I have it. </span></span><br />
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Kristin </span></span>kristinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11632927824312334093noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5772828730818213384.post-48954627123578295372012-03-02T08:20:00.002-06:002012-03-02T08:34:44.002-06:00A lot can change in a monthHas it really been a month? Wow. Ok. Well, you won't believe this.<br /><br />I texted my Mom the day of <a href="http://west-partyof5.blogspot.com/2012/02/mother-schmother.html">THIS</a> post. I just couldn't help myself. I told her that I was having a really rough time with my Dad and support for the situation and I would just really appreciate her giving me a call so we can chat and I can get her opinion on some things. Six hours later, I come out of Parker's bedroom from putting him down and Howard is on the phone with my Mom. She said she never got the text message, but it was weird that #1) She was calling...and so late and #2) She was talking to Howard.<br />Howard had filled her in on the things that I had told him what was going on (which wasn't all of it, because he is having trouble dealing with all of the issues) and by the time that I got on the phone with her all I got was a lecture and then a whole bunch of crap about how she has disowned her brother and is never talking to him again because apparently he doesn't approve of her life or relationship choices (she is apparently dating a contractor that used to/sometimes works for him). She also told me that the counselor she was seeing (about her bipolar, manic, grief, ect.) said that they no longer want to see her until she gets in a rehab type situation because mental health wise she is all over the place and her addition issues are out of control, she made it clear she was blowing the entire situation off.<br />All in all, I didn't get even a fraction of what I was hoping for from the conversation but at least I know she's alive, right?<br />Fast forward to February 9th-<br />She calls me, crying. Says that her father and brother have given her an ultimatum saying that she is no longer aloud on their property, my grandfather is taking back the truck he gave her and she is completely cut off if she doesn't check herself into a rehab type situation. So, they were taking her to the counselor's rehab facility or recovery center. She checked herself in and has been there ever since.<br /><br />She has had to go to the emergency room twice, and was admitted both times because of major fluctuating blood pressure that is probably ultimately caused by being cut off of alcohol and drugs which she has been on and off for about 40 years.<br /><br />To sum it up, she basically sounds wonderful. Is being somewhat supportive when she actually calls and asks me how we are all doing (which is a huge change, let me tell you!). She is working on her own issues mental health wise and addiction wise. She originally decide to stay for 30 days but now that her 30 days is coming up and she had a bad day recently and all she could think about was drinking and getting high she has decided to stay another 30 days. She is being very responsible and I'm proud of her for that. My only concern that she is going from one extreme to another and she initially doing this for the wrong reasons but at least she's doing it, right?<br /><br />So, she is in a safe place and due to come here at the beginning of April for court and to stay for Easter. We'll see how this all goes.kristinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11632927824312334093noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5772828730818213384.post-30124913360410907872012-02-02T13:55:00.002-06:002012-02-02T14:14:09.240-06:00Mother SchmotherI am going to tackle this one...issue or person or what have you at a time.<br /><br />My Mom<br /><br />The weekend before Christmas my family went to my Grandfather and Mom's house for our Family Christmas. We came a day early so our kids wouldn't be super cranky for the family gathering which was good planning on our part.<br />It went very smoothly, staying there. Until the night of the actual family gathering. My mom got extremely intoxicated and was reprimanded for her behavior and attitude by her sister while our family was at the restaurant that we have Christmas dinner at every year. At that point, my mom left the table and went and sat at the bar where she saw some friends she had made since she lived there and continued to get plastered and ignore the entire family and also driving back home on her own.<br />The whole family arrived back at the house and she was no where to be seen and didn't show up for another two hours after everyone else did. And at that point she was plastered, crying and really being obnoxious. I did not want my kids around this type of behavior and Howard or I didn't want to be either so my sweet cousin offered to get us a hotel room because even she could see how uncomfortable the entire situation was.<br />So, Howard loaded up the car and prepared to leave with our family in tow and my Mom showed up right before we were going to leave. She was an absolute mess and was completely out of control. She said that she had gone to the man's house whom she had been dating and caught him with another woman, who happens to be the major's wife and she was upset as to why we were leaving and it was just a total mess.<br />Needless to say, we hightailed it out of there and we didn't speak until Christmas Eve. We spoke once more between then and New Years. New Years Eve I am sitting at my house with Howard, the kids, my awesome brother in law and my friend Brandy and her two children and we're having a lot of fun, having dinner, playing games, ect. My mom calls and is, once again, extremely intoxicated and hanging out with a bunch of new neighbors she has. She proceeds to put me on the phone with every male within a 5 mile radius which was extremely uncomfortable. I think I told off a few of them as well when they called me 'sweetheart' and 'baby' uh...no.<br />I didn't speak to her again until she was due to come here for a court date on January 3rd. She came. Then went. And I've spoken to her once since then. I have called her 12 times this month. Since she left on the 4th, she's called me once. She refuses to talk to me for the most part because all I have to say is things about the ever fucked up situation with my father that she put me in and refuses to talk to me about it or even support me in any way.<br />I hate that I want her support. I really hate it.<br /><br />She is due to come back in a few weeks, again for court. Wonder if she will answer my phone calls or texts between now and then?<br /><br />Probably not.kristinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11632927824312334093noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5772828730818213384.post-59942428292057411232012-02-01T17:53:00.002-06:002012-02-01T18:04:24.797-06:00Virtual RealityI am still alive, I swear.<br /><br /><br />I honestly don't know what more to say than that. No one wants to read about the uncontrollable situation that is my life at the moment, I don't even want to live it.<br /><br />Even if you do want to read about it, it sounds so outrageous that it sounds like a bad work of fiction. If I write about it, I guess it makes it more real. However, it may do me some good considering my thought process and how unhealthy it is at the present time.<br /><br />Did you enjoy my virtual brainstorm here?<br /><br />I am going to take it, subject by subject. So guess what that means readers? You are going to be my virtual therapists! Lucky you. Run, now, run fast!<br /><br />First post will be posted tonight or in the morning.<br /><br />Thanks for hanging in there!kristinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11632927824312334093noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5772828730818213384.post-7819897800026975532011-12-23T20:01:00.003-06:002011-12-23T20:05:32.869-06:00#TDPC Day 2#TDPC Day 2: What I wore today<br /><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-B8JbOvRh7dY/TvUy3H7eWjI/AAAAAAAAAR4/z1GN4rvUyjE/s1600/IMG00998-20111223-1946.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 191px; height: 320px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-B8JbOvRh7dY/TvUy3H7eWjI/AAAAAAAAAR4/z1GN4rvUyjE/s320/IMG00998-20111223-1946.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5689509626855184946" border="0" /></a>Simply one of my favorite outfits. Scoop neck, navy blue, long sleeved organic cotton shirt and dark wash jeans. Lots of blue. Very comfortable.<br /><br />-Kristinkristinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11632927824312334093noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5772828730818213384.post-677141977058539382011-12-23T00:27:00.002-06:002011-12-23T00:54:34.107-06:00Live wireA matter of days after <a href="http://west-partyof5.blogspot.com/2011/11/challenges.html">my last blog post</a> things with my Dad came to a head. Like a Macy's Thanksgiving Day Hello Kitty float head.<br />We had gone to Houston and picked up my Mom that weekend which ended up in me just spilling my guts to my Mom about my health, depression and anxiety. Her eyes bugged out of her head, it was awesome. The trip all in all was good. It was great to see my Grandfather, steady as ever. Once we got back to Austin though, things changed, like always. My mom...sheesh, you know what, I'm not even going to go there. Lets just say she is drama personified.<br />My mom had been with us for about 24 hours when my Dad started being like Grumplestiltskin. Let me paint you a picture...he's 76 years old. Sleeps about 18/24 hours of the day in our living room. The only common space in our 1400sq.ft. apartment. So, naturally our kids are going to be in there too, and naturally, they're not very quiet. So he in turn gets annoyed very easily with their noise. They were being kids, around 8:30 at night and we were getting ready to put Parker down for the night. Parker loves shoes, and my Dad always leaves his right on the side of the couch, where he sleeps. So when my Dad got up and saw that his shoes weren't where he left them he got up, looked at my girls and yelled "Where are my God Dammed Shoes?!" when they were about 3 feet from where he put them. Howard hears this behavior (My dad NEVER acts up around Howard, EVER) and gets his shoes and hands them to him and says "You do not need to speak to the kids like that, ever, so please calm down" and then follows me into the room with Parker to put him to bed. My Dad gets up and follows us into the nursery, gets in Howard's face and starts screaming at him. Calling him 'boy' telling him that he can't talk to him like that, cussing and screaming. Howard very calmly puts Parker in my arms (yes he was holding him at the time) and backs my Dad out of the room, calls the girls into the room with me and shuts the door. They then go at it...my Dad is out of control...completely losing it at Howard. Howard at this point gives it right back and tells my Dad if he is going to be like this, he needs to leave right now. He went outside, and stayed out there until about 4am until he came back inside and went to sleep.<br /><br />Since then, he has been pretty calm and hasn't had too many issues. He has not discussed this, nor apologized for his behavior. It's been over a month and the kids are still wary.<br /><br />Thanksgiving was great. Family and friends were here, food was wonderful. Our awesome newlywed friends Jamie and Brion actually brought over a live dessert and cooking lesson....deep fried Snickers and Reese's peanut buttercups.<br /><br />The past few weeks have been filled with getting ready for Christmas, getting all my ducks in a row for my PTA event in January and being sick. I can't seem to shake this cold, bronchial, sinus crap. NOT FUN.<br /><br />This past weekend was spent at my Grandfather's house for our families Christmas gathering and my Grandfather's 90th birthday celebration...but that's a whole 'nother entry.<br /><br />-Kristinkristinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11632927824312334093noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5772828730818213384.post-31209130653766882562011-12-22T23:59:00.007-06:002011-12-23T00:12:12.417-06:00#TDPC Day 1#TDPC Day 1: Self Portrait<br /><br />Now, you have no idea how hard this is for me...but I managed to snap something with my cell phone so at least I made an effort.<br /><br /><span style="text-decoration: underline;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-KByyMeLFva4/TvQZhfPSpaI/AAAAAAAAARs/ChwXdnnGX_w/s1600/IMG00976-20111217-1555.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-KByyMeLFva4/TvQZhfPSpaI/AAAAAAAAARs/ChwXdnnGX_w/s320/IMG00976-20111217-1555.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5689200292387792290" border="0" /></a><br /></span>Yes, I have a 5 head. Eat your heart out Tyra. I look like hell because I've been sick for a damn month.<br /><br />1 down...29 more to go.<br /><br />-Kristinkristinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11632927824312334093noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5772828730818213384.post-15338290652383965362011-12-22T23:52:00.006-06:002011-12-23T00:12:33.918-06:00#TDPCI am alive and swear I will update very soon. In fact, I'm already working on an update.<br /><br />A few weeks ago my dear friend at <a href="http://www.razingmayhem.com/">Razing Mayhem</a> posted about something she saw on Tumblr about a Thirty Day Photo Challenge and I decided to join her in it, as did quite a few others on Facebook and Twitter.<br />The photo challenge started on Monday and like a lot of avenues in my life, I was a slow starter...i started today. Better late than never, yes?<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;">Here is the Photo Challenge:<br /><br /></div><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-TJPDuG5NBaA/TvQYWDHeJxI/AAAAAAAAARU/mg0KS4fQuWE/s1600/tumblr_lw0uclCpNc1qbymmmo1_500.jpg"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 201px; height: 400px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-TJPDuG5NBaA/TvQYWDHeJxI/AAAAAAAAARU/mg0KS4fQuWE/s400/tumblr_lw0uclCpNc1qbymmmo1_500.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5689198996348610322" border="0" /></a>Anyone want to join me?<br /><br />-Kristinkristinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11632927824312334093noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5772828730818213384.post-68707610057956455692011-11-15T16:04:00.003-06:002011-12-23T00:11:27.643-06:00ChallengesUpdate: Last Thursday my Grandfather, Mom and her siblings were able to scatter my Grandmother's ashes into the Bay. It was an insanely windy day on the water. Some of the ashes went into the water, some blew off in the breeze. They are doing very well, all things considered. They have good and bad days.<br /><br />We are doing well. Howard has been working as much as he can to prepare for the Christmas Holidays and to make up for the time he has had to take off and will have to take off in the future. I have been busy with...I was going to say the kids, but my Dad as well, doing the every day norm which seems to be more stressful than usual. Getting ready for some PTA events coming up after Thanksgiving.<br /><br />Speaking of Thanksgiving, it's going to be a good one. We're having family and friends over and planning lots of great food and a really great game.<br /><br />We are having numerous challenges with my Dad. So many that are so embarrassing and out of character for him I don't even want to mention it. Things are not pretty. He needs so much more help than I can provide for him but outright refuses to get help from those who can. He is a very angry person and regularly takes it out on me and the kids. I...don't know what to do anymore. The challenges that having him live with us are so far fetched. So much more than just having another adult in our tiny apartment.<br />It doesn't help my comping mechanisms to also have another blow to them. I had to quit taking my anxiety/depression medication that I've been on for 3 weeks because Howard and I realized that I was showing symptoms of having an allergic reaction. Looked it up...yep...I'm allergic to it. Annnnnd my Doctor won't return my calls. So I'm unmedicated, way overworked and insanely stressed. Not a good combo.<br /><br />That's the theme for 2011...challenges. Thank God 2011 is almost over.<br /><br />-Kristinkristinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11632927824312334093noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5772828730818213384.post-60580420614353772502011-11-06T18:50:00.003-06:002011-11-06T19:19:20.168-06:00So much, so little timeSo much has happened over the past 22 days.<br />Wow, I...cannot believe it's been that long.<br /><br />So the Wednesday after I posted the last entry my girls got their report cards, which were wonderful and I am very proud of both of them! They are both doing very well. Mackenzie made the honor roll and Maddie exceeded all of the teachers expectations.<br /><br />The Saturday after that, Howard decided to take an entire weekend off, which he hadn't done since Labor day and he majorly needed it. We had planned on going to<a href="http://www.sweetberryfarm.com/"> Sweet Berry Farms</a>, like we did exactly one year ago but the girls decided they wanted to do something a bit more and asked their Daddy if we could go to the zoo. So, we spent the day at the San Antonio Zoo and had an absolute blast.<br /><br />The following week was spent on the phone, a lot. My mom kept stressing that my Grandmother was going downhill, quickly. Her body was filling with fluid, and it was just a matter of time until her lungs started to fill as well. On Wednesday, October 26th my Mom called me and told me that my Grandmother (Mama Kay) had slipped into a coma and my aunt was on her way there. Once Mama Kay was surrounded by her children and an amazing Hospice Chaplain, Sissy, they told her it was okay to let go, they were all there, and she needed to let go. My mom told her that her parents were in Heaven partying it up and were waiting for her and that she'd finally get to hold Morgan (whom was named after her). Immediately her muscles relaxed, she smiled, and her breathing evened out. That evening we waited for a phone call, it never came. At 4:38am, on October 27th, 15 days after her 87th Birthday my mom called and said that Booka (my Grandfather) had requested that he was able to sleep next to his wife one last time, and they honored that. At about 4am he woke up to use the bathroom, came back in the room and she had stopped breathing. Always independent, she had to wait until she was completely alone to completely let go. <a href="http://www.legacy.com/obituaries/houstonchronicle/obituary.aspx?n=kathleen-tharp&pid=154287189">HERE</a> is her obituary, if you'd like to read it.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-3ia1jl2HtUE/TrcvRGVz6gI/AAAAAAAAAP8/rHAWoWX3x38/s1600/IMG_1922.JPG"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 214px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-3ia1jl2HtUE/TrcvRGVz6gI/AAAAAAAAAP8/rHAWoWX3x38/s320/IMG_1922.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5672054226502806018" border="0" /></a><br />L to R: Eddy, Trisha (Uncle and Aunt), Philip Jr aka Booka, Karen aka Mom, Kathleen/Kay aka Mama Kay, Robbie and Philip III/Flip (Aunt and Uncle).<br />Taken in July, 2011.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: left;">So, Friday night we packed up and headed to Bacliff, Tx to attend her memorial service and to help with anything that needed to be done for this quickly put together gathering. It was so good to see my Mom and be there for her. I was able to help my Aunts and Uncles out by doing errands and helping set up the memorial service which I was so glad to have a purpose with all of this. The memorial service...was beautiful. The Hospice Chaplain, Sissy, performed a memorial ceremony that was beautiful, personal and touching. Some of the grand kids said a few words, we watched a wonderful slide show of every digital picture taken over the last 10 years or so. We brought copies of photos we had that we placed throughout the house and in photo albums. It was a very nice day, Mama Kay would of loved it.<br /><br />Since then, my mom has moved in with my Grandfather, until her apartment behind his house is done being built. They are doing as well as can be expected. They will scatter her ashes later this week in the Bay near their home, which was, by far, her favorite place on Earth.<br /></div></div><br />♥ Kristinkristinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11632927824312334093noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5772828730818213384.post-1843776431523204872011-10-15T12:13:00.002-05:002011-10-15T12:32:14.274-05:00Loss Remembrance Day<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-jX9oFC8-GYE/TpnCSDyonyI/AAAAAAAAAO0/WHPoU3EFM1o/s1600/morgansfootprint.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 274px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-jX9oFC8-GYE/TpnCSDyonyI/AAAAAAAAAO0/WHPoU3EFM1o/s320/morgansfootprint.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5663771621906226978" border="0" /></a><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><span class="textstyle0"><br />They say there is a reason,</span><br /><span class="textstyle0"> They say that time will heal,</span><br /><span class="textstyle0"> But neither time nor reason,</span><br /><span class="textstyle0"> Will change the way I feel,</span><br /><span class="textstyle0"> For no-one knows the heartache,</span><br /><span class="textstyle0"> That lies behind our smiles,</span><br /><span class="textstyle0"> No-one knows how many times,</span><br /><span class="textstyle0"> We have broken down and cried,</span><br /><span class="textstyle0"> We want to tell you something,</span><br /><span class="textstyle0"> So there won't be any doubt,</span><br /><span class="textstyle0"> You're so wonderful to think of,</span><br /><span class="textstyle0"> But so hard to be without. </span><br /><span class="textstyle0"></span><br /><span class="textstyle0"></span><br /><span class="textstyle0"> We couldn't wait to hold you</span><br /><span class="textstyle0"> And see your pretty face.</span><br /><span class="textstyle0"> To count your little fingers,</span><br /><span class="textstyle0"> And check your toes are in their place.</span><br /><span class="textstyle0"> </span><br /><span class="textstyle0"> It should have been the happiest day</span><br /><span class="textstyle0"> To remember all our life.</span><br /><span class="textstyle0"> But joy had turned to heartache,</span><br /><span class="textstyle0"> No breath, no beat, no life.</span><br /><span class="textstyle0"> </span><br /><span class="textstyle0"> We will never see you smile,</span><br /><span class="textstyle0"> Or hear your hearty cry.</span><br /><span class="textstyle0"> We will never be able to dry your tears,</span><br /><span class="textstyle0"> Or share your happy times.</span><br /><span class="textstyle0"> </span><br /><span class="textstyle0"> Our precious little Angel,</span><br /><span class="textstyle0"> We will always know your face.</span><br /><span class="textstyle0"> In our hearts and stars forever,</span><br /><span class="textstyle0"> You will always have a place.</span><br /><span class="textstyle0"></span><br /><span class="textstyle0"></span><span class="textstyle0">A million times I've missed you, a million times I've cried. </span><br /><span class="textstyle0"> If love alone could have saved you, you never would have died. </span><br /><span class="textstyle0"> To some you are forgotten, to others just part of the past; </span><br /><span class="textstyle0"> but to me who loved and lost you, your love will always last. </span><br /><span class="textstyle0"> It broke my heart to lose you, you didn't go alone, </span><br /><span class="textstyle0"> for my life went with you -sweetheart- the day angels called you home.</span><br /><span class="textstyle0"> For things on earth didn't matter, but now I feel so alone, </span><br /><span class="textstyle0"> My heart will always be broken, my life will never be whole. </span><br /><span class="textstyle0"> We might be parted for awhile, our hearts will always be together </span><br /><span class="textstyle0"> for one day soon we will hold hands again forever. </span><br /><br /><div style="text-align: left;">My sweet Morgan, the pain I feel for not having you with me, to not see you with your twin is so great I feel it will swallow me whole. I never want to rid myself of the pain, because it is a constant physical reminder, of validation that you were here, that you existed.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;">Morgan Kathleen<br />15 3/4 inches-2 pounds<br />Stillborn on January 9, 2007<br /></div></div></div>kristinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11632927824312334093noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5772828730818213384.post-45834391228532311832011-10-05T21:36:00.009-05:002011-10-05T21:43:58.732-05:00Wordless Wednesday: 3 minutes with the West boys<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-pbbPj06xYrE/To0VyiohaZI/AAAAAAAAAOs/aJLZUjPDjL0/s1600/IMG_2321.JPG"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-pbbPj06xYrE/To0VyiohaZI/AAAAAAAAAOs/aJLZUjPDjL0/s320/IMG_2321.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5660204264708991378" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-NjyJwnlWhSA/To0Vulro-vI/AAAAAAAAAOk/iO1ArKszZPM/s1600/IMG_2325.JPG"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-NjyJwnlWhSA/To0Vulro-vI/AAAAAAAAAOk/iO1ArKszZPM/s320/IMG_2325.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5660204196807899890" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-D9d5AmuQFdE/To0Vp82j_eI/AAAAAAAAAOc/Hjv79YpatGI/s1600/IMG_2330.JPG"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-D9d5AmuQFdE/To0Vp82j_eI/AAAAAAAAAOc/Hjv79YpatGI/s320/IMG_2330.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5660204117128379874" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-6Myjofg5O28/To0VlprfXnI/AAAAAAAAAOU/9ST6CIUYQMU/s1600/IMG_2328.JPG"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-6Myjofg5O28/To0VlprfXnI/AAAAAAAAAOU/9ST6CIUYQMU/s320/IMG_2328.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5660204043262189170" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-9JO2gsD4oPI/To0VguyVb2I/AAAAAAAAAOM/1bhv4cBIvL0/s1600/IMG_2331.JPG"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-9JO2gsD4oPI/To0VguyVb2I/AAAAAAAAAOM/1bhv4cBIvL0/s320/IMG_2331.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5660203958733729634" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-jNaUTCK4-sc/To0VaX05oCI/AAAAAAAAAOE/jTD7ptwmvLI/s1600/IMG_2337.JPG"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-jNaUTCK4-sc/To0VaX05oCI/AAAAAAAAAOE/jTD7ptwmvLI/s320/IMG_2337.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5660203849491259426" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-EMJ0vPa_IpI/To0U7DhYlDI/AAAAAAAAAN8/TbuUnKBhJ7I/s1600/IMG_2337.JPG"><br /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-1KGxVlScpWA/To0Uza49XUI/AAAAAAAAAN0/1pQuEwhkiH0/s1600/IMG_2338.JPG"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-1KGxVlScpWA/To0Uza49XUI/AAAAAAAAAN0/1pQuEwhkiH0/s320/IMG_2338.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5660203180298689858" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-DjcZLQl1VT8/To0Ugt9AlGI/AAAAAAAAANs/7uDT42GcLtI/s1600/IMG_2345.JPG"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-DjcZLQl1VT8/To0Ugt9AlGI/AAAAAAAAANs/7uDT42GcLtI/s320/IMG_2345.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5660202858998436962" border="0" /></a>kristinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11632927824312334093noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5772828730818213384.post-86309412901801933012011-10-01T15:33:00.012-05:002011-10-01T16:31:05.601-05:00Cheap and Easy Rustic Handkerchief Wreath<div style="text-align: center;">Are you ready for a super cheap and easy wreath?<br />This is seriously one of the easiest and least expensive home decor projects I have ever done.<br />I made a wreath for Halloween, but this can be used for any occasion, Holiday or Season. I got my inspiration for this project from <a href="http://www.huckleberryprairie.com/homestead/halloween-hoedown-wreath">Huckleberry Prairie </a><br />Total Price: $5.41 Time: 30 Minutes<br />{Helpful Hint: Click on any picture to make it bigger}<br /><br />MATERIALS:<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-B4I6MkZJw7M/Tod7FG8bi9I/AAAAAAAAAMs/j2IC-Zt0rAE/s1600/IMG_2247.JPG"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 276px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-B4I6MkZJw7M/Tod7FG8bi9I/AAAAAAAAAMs/j2IC-Zt0rAE/s320/IMG_2247.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5658626784507956178" border="0" /></a>One 12" wicker type wreath. I got mine at Dollar Tree for...wait for it...$1!<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Nxt31CJSjWc/Tod7MA42s2I/AAAAAAAAAM0/cuPH-7Io8wA/s1600/IMG_2248.JPG"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 278px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Nxt31CJSjWc/Tod7MA42s2I/AAAAAAAAAM0/cuPH-7Io8wA/s320/IMG_2248.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5658626903141430114" border="0" /></a><br />No fewer than 3 handkerchiefs/bandannas. I used 4 just to get the colors and style I wanted, so this tutorial will go on the assumption you have 4. I payed $.99 each for these at Hobby Lobby.<br /><br />You also need a good, sharp pair of scissors.<br /><br />DIRECTIONS: Cut each of your handkerchiefs in half. {Helpful Hint: I make a small cut and rip the rest of the way, so much faster!} Put the other halves of the handkerchief to the side, you will need it later. Pile one of each of the halves in a stack like the picture below:<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-nZ7DQ0ooq8U/Tod7TB_EveI/AAAAAAAAAM8/TpVKCg6wVeA/s1600/IMG_2250.JPG"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 280px; height: 320px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-nZ7DQ0ooq8U/Tod7TB_EveI/AAAAAAAAAM8/TpVKCg6wVeA/s320/IMG_2250.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5658627023695035874" border="0" /></a><br />Then cut through all 4 {Hence, why you need sharp scissors} into 1 1/2- 2 inch strips. Not an exact science, eyeball it. Hence why it's a 'rustic' wreath. {Apparently rustic in my book means that you're too lazy to measure}<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-ZZieOOCvUQ8/Tod7YAFSrqI/AAAAAAAAANE/plV4Mlz1ZqY/s1600/IMG_2253.JPG"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 223px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-ZZieOOCvUQ8/Tod7YAFSrqI/AAAAAAAAANE/plV4Mlz1ZqY/s320/IMG_2253.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5658627109083590306" border="0" /></a><br />Once you have cut up the handkerchiefs put them in piles according to color and pattern you want to use for your wreath.<br />Then, using your starting color, wrap around the wicker wreath and tie a double knot like the picture below:<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-zyAX2rFU7Ag/Tod7fbRwitI/AAAAAAAAANM/ngyme53L96k/s1600/IMG_2256.JPG"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 274px; height: 251px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-zyAX2rFU7Ag/Tod7fbRwitI/AAAAAAAAANM/ngyme53L96k/s320/IMG_2256.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5658627236642720466" border="0" /></a><br />Then you just keep on going...<br /></div><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Kggb_3oaYJE/Tod7nz9KyyI/AAAAAAAAANU/bbUKgDTMRFQ/s1600/IMG_2257.JPG"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Kggb_3oaYJE/Tod7nz9KyyI/AAAAAAAAANU/bbUKgDTMRFQ/s320/IMG_2257.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5658627380706200354" border="0" /></a>See, it's already looking cute!<br /><br />When you have about 6" of the wicker wreath still showing get the remaining halves that I told you to put aside earlier. Choose to of the colors and cut a 2" strip of 2 of the handkerchiefs. About 3" from the ends of those pieces, tie them together with a double knot (just like you're doing around the wreath. Then, the tails of the knotted bow you just created tie in a double knot to the exposed part of the wreath which creates the hanger as shown below:<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-d8upja1V-6U/Tod7u62p00I/AAAAAAAAANc/3wLXM6Qb7Yw/s1600/IMG_2259.JPG"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 240px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-d8upja1V-6U/Tod7u62p00I/AAAAAAAAANc/3wLXM6Qb7Yw/s320/IMG_2259.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5658627502817006402" border="0" /></a>Then keep going all around, even in between the double knots you created with the hanger to give it more stability. The more you bunch the knot bows together, the fuller it looks. And then finally you have something that looks like this...<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-WD_eBmwcZYc/Tod7zps3KeI/AAAAAAAAANk/wfSJjLyKffU/s1600/IMG_2260.JPG"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 223px; height: 320px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-WD_eBmwcZYc/Tod7zps3KeI/AAAAAAAAANk/wfSJjLyKffU/s320/IMG_2260.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5658627584111880674" border="0" /></a>Hope you enjoyed the tutorial! I know I sure enjoyed making this today. Got my mind off of my Fighting Texas Aggies who have developed a theme this season of losing their minds in the second half. Anyway, have fun and please shoot me an email or leave me a comment if you do this! I'd love to see how yours turns out!<br /><br />Happy October!<br />♥ Kristin<br /></div>kristinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11632927824312334093noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5772828730818213384.post-57881408163013070812011-09-30T10:31:00.004-05:002011-09-30T11:01:12.613-05:00DelusionsMy mother has court on Tuesday, October 4th. She also gets paid around that time {She receives Social Security Disability} and cannot access her money because my Dad has her debit card.<br />So, she's coming back.<br />And yesterday this text conversation occurred: {exact texts are in <span style="font-style: italic;">Italics</span>}<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Mom:</span> <span style="font-style: italic;">So I will be there Sun evening and was gonna share Mackenzie's bed is that a problem?</span><br /><br />Ha, you ask...but you already know.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Me: </span><span style="font-style: italic;">That is not possible. Dad is still here, obviously and he has told everyone he has come into contact with that he fully intends to strangle you the next time he sees you. Also, Howard does NOT want to see you. Also, I am still beyond hurt and angry about what you took off and left me to deal with, with no regard to what you ere leaving in your wake and I am not the only one that feels that way. </span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Mom:</span> <span style="font-style: italic;">I made some really bad choices. My mother is dying and my Dad's heart is breaking and I cannot undo what I have done. I will stay in a motel but can I see the kids and can you take me to court?</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Me:</span> <span style="font-style: italic;">Yes, you most certainly did. And I know what your parents are going through is a terrible ordeal. But as noble as your purpose is for being there it doesn't erase what you did to Dad, me, Howard and the kids. They don't cancel each other out. And yes, you can see the kids, and yes, I will take you to court. </span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Mom:</span> <span style="font-style: italic;">Thank u</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Mom:</span> <span style="font-style: italic;">There was nothing noble about wrecking mine and y'all's life and I will be sorry and pay for it forever. I make bad decisions anyway but this hurt, this helpless grief I am going through right no is pretty overwhelming and I just want to cuddle both my parents in my arms and make it better, but I can't. </span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Me:</span> <span style="font-style: italic;">No, there wasn't. And I'm surprised you're sorry because you sure haven't said it. I can appreciate what you're going through Mom. I can't say I understand it because I've never gone through that but I can imagine. I am thankful that you are there for them and for you but like I said, it;s hard to deal with the level of betrayal that you committed against us. You have no idea what it feels like to always back someone up, always try to help them through anything hard in life no matter what to have them all but physically spit in your face. It hurts, and I'm angry, but that's temporary, I'll get over it. What IS important is what your parents are going through but I cannot ignore what I have been through either. I cannot allow you into my home, a home full of people with a lot of negative emotion towards you and act like nothing happened. </span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Mom:</span> <span style="font-style: italic;">I did say sorry, that day on your bed</span> {She's referring to the day before she took off when I blew up at her for doing this to everyone telling her she needed to man up and take care of her own responsibility which also meant that if she is leaving, she needs to take my father with her and she agreed...at the time}<span style="font-style: italic;"> and I am sorry taking care of your Dad is such an ordeal </span>{it is, but I have NOT EVEN ONCE said a thing to her about any of the things I am going through with him} <span style="font-style: italic;">So, I wish I had done everything different. From the bottom of my heart I am so sorry.</span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Me:</span> <span style="font-style: italic;">That day, on my bed, you also said you were taking Dad with you. </span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Mom:</span> <span style="font-style: italic;">That was just not possible. </span><br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Me:</span> <span style="font-style: italic;">Considering that alleged apology happened that day as well, you can imagine why it holds ZERO significance. </span><br /><br />And I haven't heard from her since. She did call my father yesterday evening, about an hour after this text conversation ended. She told him that apparently we care about her anymore and don't want her here or want to see her so she is going to get a motel.<br />She's my mother, of course I care and I do love her. But I don't like her at all. I don't owe her anything, she owes me...everything. Howard keeps asking me if this situation was finally my breaking point with her, and yeah...it really is. I don't regret anything I have said and done in this situation. I have kept my integrity and stood my ground.<br /><br />It makes me feel so good.<br /><br />♥ Kristinkristinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11632927824312334093noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5772828730818213384.post-11986430912433856652011-09-26T10:58:00.003-05:002011-09-26T11:23:44.383-05:00To my son, on your 2nd birthdayDear Bubbers,<br />I cannot believe you are two years old already. I can't comprehend how my life was without you in it because you have made it so full. Full of laughter, tears and joy. I am still afraid of you, and probably will be until my dying day. The love I have with your father swept me off my feet, but our love little man...it lopped my head right off.<br />I never pictured having a son, I had never been around boys at all. I cannot even explain in words how thankful that I am to have had you. To have had this amazing opportunity to raise you and see what you will become with your outrageous personality and heart stopping smile.<br />You've grown a ton, now towering over your (older) bestie Cael by 4 inches when not even 6 months ago you two were the same height. You'll love that height when you get older, you're welcome for that. We all know you didn't get that from your Daddy (sorry Howard, it's true). For now it makes all your pants shorter then they should be.<br />Your current obsessions are Mickey Mouse, Yo Gabba Gabba, Wow Wow Wubzy and Ni Hao Kai Lan. You love all things trains, trucks...anything that has an engine (Gee, I wonder where he gets <span style="font-style: italic;">that</span> from). You also love balls (take that as you will), balloons, being outside, and pestering your sisters to death.<br />You said your longest sentence to date on your birthday. I told you to say "Thank you for my PJ's Grandma, I love you." and you repeated me...but it sounded like this "Daint Du fur ma JJ's Gramma, I dus you."<br />You are an amazing little creature that constantly brings a smile to all of our faces. You are silly, hysterical and full of testosterone. Thank you so much for coming into our lives and bringing it such joy and laughter.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;">I love you Parker Philip, My sweet boy, My Bubbers,<br /><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-v0q9dtlUJNI/ToCm6vJa5JI/AAAAAAAAAL8/wUp7vx_xeGs/s1600/IMG_2184.JPG"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 295px; height: 305px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-v0q9dtlUJNI/ToCm6vJa5JI/AAAAAAAAAL8/wUp7vx_xeGs/s320/IMG_2184.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5656704659995944082" border="0" /></a><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;">Always,<br />Mommy<br /></div>kristinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11632927824312334093noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5772828730818213384.post-10348998693734473932011-09-22T22:20:00.002-05:002011-09-22T23:36:29.060-05:00Temporary vs. PermanentDespite everything that is going on with the drama that surrounds my parents and everything we're up against right now I got a sharp reminder that all of this is temporary.<br /><br />Things change minute to minute. I need to focus on what's permanent.<br /><br />People. Relationships. Family.<br /><br />My Maternal Grandmother's health is failing fast.<br /><br />Over the years she has battled thyroid disease, high cholesterol, kidney cancer (resulting in the loss of a kidney), colon cancer (which resulted in the loss of a good portion of her colon and intestine) and she also had a full hysterectomy due to tumors and endometriosis.<br /><br />In July of this year my Grandmother was having some scary symptoms regarding her overall health and since then up until a week ago she was having tests, MRI's, CT scans and biopsies done too often to name because they found cancerous cells on her remaining kidney. Their goal 9 days ago was to go in at the most recent biopsy site and remove the parts of her kidney that were cancerous but leaving the organ working and intact. That didn't happen. After putting a shunt between her bladder and kidney they realized that my grandmother has tumors all over her bladder, kidney and intestines. So, they didn't operate.<br /><br />They have now told her that the cancer and tumors are on her bladder, kidney, stomach, intestines and liver. It seems the more biopsies and tests they did, the more the tumors grew and the more the cancer spread.<br /><br />She is not a candidate for chemo. She'll be 87 in October. She weighs just barely over 70 pounds. So, they have called in hospice care and now she is just doing whatever she can to enjoy life. She's eating whatever she wants, spending time with family, planning a gambling trip to Louisiana. No doctor has given us a clear picture on the time she has left. So far the only answer we've been given to this delicate situation is one week to six months.<br /><br />Our prayers are not for miracles at this point. They're for her to be pain free and happy in the time she has left. She has had a full and happy life surrounded by people who love her. If only all people could be so lucky.<br /><br />♥ Kristinkristinhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11632927824312334093noreply@blogger.com2